Everything changes – and there are a lot of things that we don’t have control over. As an instructor of mine once said “we are all recovering control freaks”.
When we lose control of our lives we tend to try and take it back by holding on. We try to keep things the same, resisting the change. Knowing that we can’t turn back the clock but wanting to. So much that it hurts.
Oh, and we tend to ignore constructive comments from our friends and colleagues.
Saturday evening my two best friends both decided that it was a good time to express some concerns they had regarding my business plan. I’ve been a little too involved in the challenges in my personal life to really talk to them about why I’m doing what I’m doing – and why I keep altering my path.
Their timing sucked!
That said – they were right about several things. The most important being, that I am spreading myself too thin by trying to do too many things at the same time. One friend feels that I need to choose just one thing to focus on – one flavor of writing. The other thinks I can manage to do two or three things but I need to really pick and choose my projects. They both agree that by doing more than one thing I am delaying my own success.
They are probably right.
But at the time I felt backed into a corner and abused. I didn’t want to look at what I was doing I just wanted to wallow in my grief and read all the Harry Potter books in order again. I didn’t want to change – I wanted the life that I had in November back. And I didn’t want to feel as alone as I feel now.
But I did listen to them – and I have some serious thinking to do.
In addition, I need to take some things that have been weighing me down like an albatross. Things like – finding a web designer – changing my health insurance because my COBRA is going to jump from ~ $150 to ~ $500 a month and I’m sure I can do better – choose what story I’m going to write next – move the blogs to their own sites – and start working/implementing my marketing campaigns – and I probably need to start looking for another editor.
Oh – and it is the holidays so there is that too.
So, I’ve decided to leave my victim status and start building my life back up again. This morning I got up early to do Yoga, Weights, and Cardio – I’ve written posts for both blogs – and the morning isn’t over yet.
The universe keeps changing – we can never go back – to do so is to let yourself dwell in victimhood where things are done to you rather than you making your own life… your own decisions.
In the end the only thing we have control over is ourselves.
~ Tess Anderson