Here we go again!

The one thing I miss about having a day job… tech support.

My WiFi is dropping every few moments. I have no idea why. I’ve been through this before. It is a new system, only had it a few months, but every once in awhile it gets a gremlin and starts throwing fits.

Just watching the little bars at the bottom of the screen go up and down makes my blood pressure rise and I’m not even working online.

I don’t handle computer problems well.

That is my standard interview answer when they think to ask me either “what my biggest flaw is” or “is there anything that we should know before hiring you” or “what is the one thing you don’t deal well with”?

They will make me go mad, I will tear out my hair, use words that would make a sailor blush, not to mention a rapper, and end up a puddle of misfiring neurons in the corner of my office.  

You can imagine that the one thing I miss is being able to label it a SEP*.

The funny thing is, as much as I hate these things, I am the person my Mother and several of my friends call for help. Thank goodness they only call. If they saw how close the razor blade was getting to my wrist they would probably leave me off the hook. But they don’t see it and they keep calling.

I am starting to sound like tech support. “Is it pluged in?” or “Have you tried turning if off and then back on?”

The funny thing is that it always seems that the biggest problems hit you when you are in the biggest hurry drowning under a deadline or in the middle of a huge, multilayered, spreadsheet calculation. They never hit on one of those “I don’t really have anything pending today maybe I’ll clean up my inbox” sorts of days.

The gremlins know.

Or if it isn’t gremlins then it is something that happens at the quantum level. My current theory is that stress has a negative impact on quantum stability. This insatiability, caused by your personal stress, leads to the shedding of electrons which then causes random glitches in your computer. This causes elevated levels of stress, which increases the insatiability like a rock thrown in a pond, until you get ever expanding waves of destabilizing electrons being shed and suddenly your servers are down.

Farfetched I know… but that’s how I feel each time I’m faced with a deadline and the system starts misbehaving. I can’t help it. I take it personally.  

I’d go back to the typewriter but it doesn’t have spell check.  

~ Tess

*Somebody Else’s Problem


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