Yes, I can’t help it…

As those poor folk who have stuck with me know – this month has sucked!

The thing is it shouldn’t have. Lots of good things happened…my problem is seeing them through the fog of stress.

I have very specific tools in place to help me feel successful. Apparently the statistics that I use are very important to me. I track the following: 

  • Words written per day
  • Journal (blogs) vs. Fiction
  • Number of days written
  • Number of Posts

I also track submissions and their outcome.  

A funny thing happened on my way to writing non-fiction stories for a major on-line presences (when an article is actually published I promise to reveal all) I didn’t make my numbers.  

Today is the last day of the month, so it is the day that I look at the work that I’ve accomplished, or not, and figure out what I’ve learned. Yes I am addicted to learning from my past.

So, what have I learned…

I’ve written more often, 81% up from 71% in January but I’ve also written less averaging 633 words per day as opposed to 1,335.

My postings have gone from 4 a week to 1 or 2, but I’ve submitted 4 stories and signed a contract with an online fiction publisher. I have two stories that I could get out today if I really buckled down bringing the total to 6 – more than any other month. I have an article due tomorrow….

So what is going on here? And why do I feel so discontent?

Part of it is that I feel like I’ve failed because I written so little fiction this month. But then I look at what I have accomplished and think that I should give myself a break.

I’ve written Sell Copy (don’t ask) and done my first interviews ever (4 of them) and now I’m writing feature articles. I’m closer to attaining my goal of solvency and who cares if it is writing newsletters, articles, or fiction. It is still writing. And like anything else, the more I do the easier it will get.

Besides… I have a novella due at the end of April so I have to start writing fiction again.

Yet, I still don’t feel very upbeat about all of this…so I tell myself, suck it up! Writers would kill for what’s happening in my life right now.

Oh, I haven’t talked about what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that I am deadline driven, that I like researching things, and even enjoy the odd interview.

Solvency here I come!

~ Tess

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