Unfortunately it has not been a month filled with writing and merriment.
For the most part the month has been filled with all sorts of activities that have nothing to do with writing but are surprisingly good at distracting me from the fact that I’m not. Who would have thought, just as things are going right I would go so wrong?
Fear of success?
Or just a bad month?
I’m not sure. But I am very sure that I don’t want to look to hard at the underpinnings of my behavior the last few weeks. Not sure I like that person much. She’s weak. As a friend of mine said last night “I’m just making excuses”.
It’s been four weeks since the first drop hit the bucket, three since the second, and a two since the third. My world tumbled… into a heap of emotional and financial ruin. I could see it and it terrified me.
Here is the funny thing.
At the same time I was falling my writing was getting noticed. Four weeks ago I signed a contract with an online publisher, three weeks ago I met an editor who wants me to write non-fiction for him, and two weeks ago I submitted a story to someone who was interested in getting it.
So yes, my friend is right, I am just making excuses. I’ve been lying in a maudlin heap for too many days while life is going on all around me. Good life that is full of possibilities that are just sitting there waiting for me to grab.
So time to get up and start chasing them, don’t you think?